Hello. I missed you.

Wow, I haven't been here for a very long time. I missed this blog. Well, for sure nobody's checking back here anymore. But just in case somebody missed me...I moved my blog to http://lanaparcs.wordpress.com/.

I figured I'll be posting here every once in a while just to keep this blog alive (for memories' sake). I missed my posts here and the people who commented and followed me. I missed you. :(

Just a quick update...A lot has happened in my life since I stopped blogging here. Graduated. Married. Pregnant. Son. I have a new life now, but I surely miss my old one. I wish I could keep in touch with my old friends. You know who you are.

Well, till my next post. Hopefully soon. Ciao!

LP.
http://lanaparcs.wordpress.com/

My Most Memorable Christmas (Entry for Loving it by Jo-an) :)

2008 has been my Favorite Christmas, so far. Why? Because...
♥ I was able to spend it not only with my Family and boyfriend, but our relatives as well.

♥I was able to get two gifts from people! ( since my birthday's on the 23rd of December)

♥I received LOTS of Gifts!
♥I was able to stay awake just to see the sun shining, greeting me "Hello Lana, Merry Christmas! :D"

♥I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

me and my daddy :)

Mended Hearts

Two people arguing. She thinks she’s right. He thinks he’s right. But they’re both wrong. Two sides, like a reversed magnet, that never connects.

Foolish words are said. Never meant to hurt but still did. Slowly falling down. Feeling cold. Feeling numb.

Wait. Stop. Breathe. Let go.

Reach out. Meet each other halfway. Give out your hand. Compromise. Give love. Peace. Happiness.
♥

Are You a Philip or a Mary?

By: Lana Sanchez

When it comes to facing problems, how do you deal with it? There are two possible ways of dealing with problems. Do you question God or do you put your trust in Him no matter what? There are two Biblical characters that demonstrate each of these ways. At the end, try to see if you are a Philip or a Mary.

Philip is an evangelist of the early church. He was one of the disciples who were with Jesus during the feeding of the five thousand. When Jesus asked Philip where they should buy bread for all of the people, Philip panicked and doubted the powers of Jesus. He was worried that their wages would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite (John 6:5-7). Philip’s reaction was based on the resources that they have. He concluded that they are helpless without even thinking about Jesus and how He can help them. Some people like Philip easily give up when problem arises. They think that they could not handle them and that no one will help them, but God never gives us a problem that we couldn’t handle.

Mary, on the other hand, is the mother of Jesus. She requested Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana. When she saw that the wine was gone, she told Jesus about the problem. Even if Jesus answered that it is not yet His time, Mary still told the servants to do whatever Jesus commands them to do (John 2:1-5). Mary persisted even though Jesus showed His lack of concern and she was still ready to obey whatever Jesus would say. She puts her trust in Jesus no matter what. Some people would share their problems to Jesus because they believe that Jesus is bigger than their problems and that he would help them in His time. God’s will is always the best and we should learn to give up our lives to Him, trust Him no matter what and be ready to obey whatever he commands us to do. That is what a true follower of Jesus should do.

So when a problem arises in your life…how would you deal with it? Are you a Philip or a Mary?

Just keep breathing.

The door slams I wake up
Another illusion I have made of this
I cry I swept away every tear that I've cried
And I swear this was your choice
So save me from falling with the sound of your voice

Are you lonely? Do you hold back?
Will the road ahead keep you on track?
I know you made what real for
but I can't help to die just a little bit more

I'll miss your every moment
I can't hold it
And I swear
I'll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can't say goodbye, say goodbye

So here goes my last chance
Of an hopeless romantic and I don't understand
Why you don't, why you wanna show
Your dangerously enemy and it's tragic so pathetic
I'm in love with you and you just don't get it

So when you lay your head at night do you think of me?
Do you think it's right to leave me here to kick myself
to hate myself for all that I felt?

I'll miss your every moment
I can't hold it
And I swear
I'll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can't say goodbye, say goodbye

So I sit here finding a way
Surrounded but still lonely
Your absence here doesn't help, it doesn't help
Cause every time I look to you
A mild depression comes screaming through
I don't know myself, we don't know ourselves

So make me this promise, yeah?
Say it with an object tone
Emotion feeling, can't stop spinning
Just keep breathing, say you need me

I'll miss your every moment
I can't hold it
And I swear
I'll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can't watch you go
why'd you go?

Household of Believers

As I started to be a Christian, I felt like I was adopted into another family. Christians, for me, are people who accepted our Lord Jesus Christ and follow His footsteps. As I got into this new family, I began to feel like a different kind of person. It’s like I suddenly have the whole world as my siblings and God as our Father. Being in this kind of family, like a potter molding clay to form a beautiful creation, we must also be molded with values that can affect us and our new Christian family.

Family affection

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another on brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Rom 12: 9-10

As a member of a Christian family, we should let our love be without hypocrisy. Christians should be kindly affectionate to one another. Following God’s footsteps means doing what he’s doing. We must love others the way God loves us. We must be honest in our love and turn back on whatever is wrong or bad.

It is a sad fact that people do more bad things than good nowadays. Examples of such can be seen in the news like killings, kidnappings, rape, accidents, stealing and more. We certainly cannot change a person’s ways or attitude, but we can start with love as our guide and be a model to others. We shouldn’t repay evil for evil for we gain nothing but an evil reputation, but if we repay evil for good, we walk in the sight of the Lord and we prevent bad things from getting worse.

Giving honor to people is also one way of showing affection. Honoring our pastors can boost their confidence and give them the idea that God is supporting them. But giving honor is not just for our pastors but to all the members of our Christian family. Honor is like this price we get for doing our part as a member of this family.

Family attitude

“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”- Rom 12: 11-12

Christians should be fervent in spirit. When we say “fervent”, it simply means eagerness to serve God. We should be active in doing God’s mission for us which is to spread his Good News to all. Some people are just willing to help out people they know or even just people they love, but being the children of God, we must not pick out people to help but be open arms to all the people because God desires for all to be saved (Rom. 10: 12).

Christians should also be able to endure tribulations. No one ever said that accepting the Lord Jesus as our personal Lord, God and Savior means that we will be free from pain, sufferings and trials. Being in this family, we should be strong enough to fight against the evil one. Satan would do everything to put our faith down but we must always put in our mind that with God, nothing is impossible (Lk. 1:37)

Family sharing

“Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”- Rom. 12:13

Sometimes, people find it hard to give love to a stranger. Like giving alms to the needy, donating old clothes to the orphanage or simply helping an old lady cross the street. Giving love to a stranger is one of the important values that we should have, as a member of this family (Heb. 13:2). Simple gestures like that to people we don’t know gives them the idea of God’s love. Maybe after we do those gestures, we can say “God loves you”, as a way of sharing God to them. We should not hesitate to share our love to others just as God shared his most precious treasure, which is Jesus Christ, to us.

In conclusion, loving one another is not just the second greatest commandment that God gave us, but it is our duty as a Christian (2 Jn. 4-5). Loving others is our way of thanking God for everything that he has done for us. It is the key to uniting the Christians in this world. As a member of God’s family, we must live in love because love leads the way to God.

Article made by: Ana Sanchez ♥

never let you know...

So I wrote you a song
Hoping this makes things ok
But I know it’s all different now
We have our own separate ways

Sometimes I’ll reminisce all those happy days we had
Coffee shops, deep talks and surprises that made me smile
It makes me wish we’d go back in time
And stay there together even for just a little while

Because my friend, I really miss you
Can’t say it but its true
I’ll lock this feeling deep inside
Thought at night, I lie awake and cried.

Many times I want to apologize
For ever playing and messing with your mind
Though I’d love to keep you mine
But I guess I’m not your heroine

It’s hard to let you go
Though it kills me,
I’ll just never let you know.

Hello...

Hello sunlight,
It’s good to have you back in my life.
I regretted the moment I left you out there all alone.
I regretted the moments I didn’t let your beam of light enter my dark life.

Hello bliss,
It’s good to feel you again.
I have forgotten how you put the smile on my face.
I regretted losing this feeling, this emotion that makes my world go round.

Hello joy,
Welcome back.
I felt very unhealthy when you were gone.
Don’t ever leave again.

Hello love,
I don’t ever want to let you go again.
And people always say that if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.
Now I hope to say hello to Forever.

Monsters in Life

I’ve been so pissed off lately to people who keep on bugging me with my life. I hate people who think that they know what’s best for you. I mean hello, you may think you know what’s best for me but noo...you don’t have the power to change what I want in my life. After all, it is MY life not yours. Some people tend to interfere in other people’s lives but they don’t even have the single idea that they too need to change their own lives as well. I give exceptions to parents though because they were the ones who made you so they have some say to how you live your life. And I thank God for giving me such understanding parents who respects me with my own decisions in my life. They don’t really bug the hell out of me like this one stupid person. Let’s call her “monster”.

Monster doesn’t know her limits. She’s very open to her ideas and she blabs about everything. She doesn’t know when to stop or she doesn’t know if she’s hurting other people already. She thinks she’s always right and is always doing or saying the right things but damn, it’s the opposite. She’ll bribe you with things at first but afterward... you have to be her slave and do everything she wants you to do. That’s how worst monster is. She’ll be good to you at first but after everything, she’ll back stab you and say bad things behind your back. But when other people are there, she’ll act nice and innocent. She’s very jealous if you get all the credit and would find ways to turn the tables around and be the innocent hero to the story when the truth is she’s the villain. I hate the fact that monster uses God as a reason to be innocent in everything that she does. She thinks that if she mentions God’s name, she would be the “good servant”. C’mon! Wake up! You of all people should know that you cannot use the Lord’s name in vain. I couldn’t stand all her complaints and grumbles about everything and everyone. MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND STAY THE HELL OUTTA MY LIFE!!

don't you just hate liars?

the world is full of lies and liars...

people tell you something but mean it another way...

people makes promises but breaks it along the way...

don't you just hate liars?..

i know i do..

Memories....

When tomorrow starts without me,And I'm not there to see,If the sun should rise and find your eyesAll filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cryThe way you did today,While thinking of the many things,We didn't get to say.I know how much you love me,As much as I love you,And each time that you think of me,I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me,Please try to understand,That an angel came and called my name,And took me by the hand,And said my place was ready,In heaven far above,And that I'd have to leave behindAll those I dearly love. But as I turned to walk away,A tear fell from my eyeFor all my life, I'd always thought,I didn't want to die.I had so much to live for,So much left yet to do,It almost seemed impossibleThat I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays,The good ones and the bad,I thought of all the love we shared,And all the fun we had.If I could relive yesterday,Just even for a while,I'd say good-bye and kiss youAnd maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized,That this could never be,For emptiness and memories,Would take the place of me.And when I thought of worldly things,I might miss come tomorrow,I thought of you, and when I did,My heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates,I felt so much at home.When God looked down and smiled at me,From His great golden throne,He said, "This is eternity,And all I've promised you.Today your life on earth is past,But here life starts anew. I promise no tomorrow,But today will always last,And since each day's the same wayThere's no longing for the past.You have been so faithful,So trusting and so true.Though there were times you did some thingsYou knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgivenAnd now at last you're free.So won't you come and take my handAnd share my life with me?"So when tomorrow starts without me,Don't think we're far apart,For every time you think of me,I'm right here, in your heart.

this never stops making me cry... :(

moving on...

A strangled smile fell from your faceWhat kills me that I hurt you this wayThe worst part is that I didn't even knowNow there's a million reasons for you to goBut if you can find a reason to stayI'll do whatever it takesTo turn this aroundI know what's at stakeI know that I've let you downAnd if you give me a chanceBelieve that I can changeI'll keep us together whatever it takes
- Lifehouse “whatever it takes”



I finally found myself some time to blog. I know I have been so quiet lately. Well, believe me…there’s lotsa reasons behind this quietness.

For the past months and weeks, I’ve been busy… with school, family, friends, love, and of course…problems. Yes. I’ve never been that girl who asks for help whenever she had a problem. I’m just the “keep-it-to-yourself” type of girl. I don’t usually share my problems except if I really needed to release the fire in me…and I only tell it to those people whom I really trust. If you’re one of them…well, you’re one of my true friends. But lately, I don’t feel the need to discuss my problems to others. Even if it haunts me even in my dreams, I just…let it flow. I try to get busy in school and also try not to think about it but sometimes…you just can’t fight fate (I guess). This stupid fate finds a way to make you face the problems you’re trying to avoid. Well, I guess that’s the way the world revolves. And hell yeah, I can’t do anything about it.

I really miss the past, but I’m really trying my best to erase some of the memories. Sometimes I wish I have a memory card in my brain where I can erase or delete some memories…but what I just put in my mind is that memories are there to shape and complete you. may it be good or bad memories.

In times of my problems, I just realized that NO..you can’t erase memories…and you can’t turn back time or take back what you already said or did. The only thing you can do is Move On and Change.

And that has been my new year’s resolution and goal for this year. To move on and change. I promised myself that whatever happens, I’ll forgive and forget and accept the good and the bad. If I want things to happen, I’ll take the risk and not waste time because I don’t want to experience regret and “what if’s” anymore.

Anyway, so much for my first blog this year. I hope I can update every week. School’s hella crazy lately. So many schoolworks. Goodbye social life. I’ll see you when I graduate.

If ever you read this entry the whole way through…thanks for your time

Lotsa love, LP ♥

hello birthday girl..

hoping for a "happy" birthday tomorrow...

*crosses fingers*

just a little something to remind me of.....

You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracles of life when we allow the unexpected to happen.
Every day, God gives us the sun - and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Everyday, we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived that moment, that it doesn’t exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our frontdoor key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quite that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists - a moment when all the power of the stars become a part of us and enable us to perform miracles.
Joy is sometimes a blessing, but is is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.
Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back - she will hear her heart saying, “What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage; the certainty that you wasted your life.”
Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life’s magic moments will have already passed them by.

... i miss... i miss..... :(

trapped

Ever had this feeling that you’re trapped? Well, I feel this everyday. I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel happy or sad about it. But for some reason, I feel suffocated. I’m getting utterly tired. I don’t know if I can cope up with this any longer. I just hope for a brighter future ahead. Because now… everything’s so blurry.
I gotta learn NOT to EXPECT anymore. Be numb again to not feel the pain. I really have no idea why I keep on living this kinda life. Sometimes I dream of escaping. But I have no idea how. I don’t even know if I can leave all of my memories behind. Somehow I wish I have amnesia. Crazy, right.
I am living in my nightmare. I couldn't escape. I can’t run away, I can’t breathe.
My sickness is getting worst and you’re not helping. Thanks a lot.

Effing sweetness. Big deal.

I was hoping this would be a great month… ha! I should really learn fast not to get my hopes up anymore. I don’t even want to think about what’s gonna happen on the 23rd. hell I care!. No… I don’t care anymore.

I want to escape.

enough is enough and im not enough...

music defines me. i was in starbucks at 6am..thoughts fill my mind while i was listening to my ipod....

Goodnight goodnight by Maroon 5.
Over you by Daughtry


I never saw this coming, not that I’m a psychic or something but I never thought I would feel this way again. Numb. Feeling nothing but emptiness. Maybe this time I really feel like it’s enough. I’ve had enough of all the bullshits and dramas.

“I’ve given my heart and if that’s not enough for you, them I’m not enough for
you”- Haley James Scott

If he can’t be by Frankie J

Damn. Why is loving so hard? Or is it just the persons involve making it hard? Maybe some were made not to understand love. But somehow, there’s still some people giving me hope that love still exist. Not in a way that I’m in a trapped kinda love but love in a way that it really makes me happy. Thank you for that, my safe harbor.

I think I’m having dejavu from my experience before which I really tried to ignore. I’m caught in between again, like I have to make a choice. But I don’t want to. I never want to. Why is it that choices are made to be so difficult?

My first love by Passion

Yes. He is my first love. But I don’t know if he’ll be my last. I was hoping before, but now I don’t know. I know that all the first love has the greatest impact in life, well, that’s what I realize from my friends. I don’t know for others. I don’t know for myself. It’s so natural to say that you gave your all for this so called love. Everyone says that. Well I did. But I don’t think it was enough for him. Maybe someday he’ll realize that… but I just hope it’s not late.

For you I will by Teddy Geiger

Maybe its just me. Maybe I expected too much. I know for sure that expecting is one way of hurting yourself. Yes. I was expecting too much. I was hoping he would be my prince charming, does he really exist anyway?. I was so fooled to believe that someday my prince will come. Damn snow white. That’s why I hate love songs. Like the guys would really do what they’re singing. Uhhh sorry bitter.

I shiver just thinking of my future. I don’t want to think of it. I’m not strong enough. It’s so hard to think that everything’s going to be alright. That I would be saved from this nightmare. That I will really feel happy. That things will go my way.

I’ve had enough. Just thinking of these stuffs overwhelms me. Enough.

Dreams

“being reckless was paying off better
than I’d thought. Forget cheating.” – Bella




I’ve been wanting to blog for two or three days already but it’s so hard to find time for yourself these days. This is the only time I can spare from all the school works I’ve been doing. Its actually 2:15am. Heck.
Well, I’ve been reading “new moon” just a while ago when I encountered the line above which is thought of by bella. It kinda struck a nerve and it backfired my plan for everything.
I made plans to..well..change everything. But it was so hard.
I had sleepless nights trying to think things through.
It really bothered me.
I don’t know why I’m so bothered whenever my friends don’t feel happy. Especially when I’m the reason.
I really don’t like it when people get sad or feel miserable because of what I did, what I will do…or just simply because of me.
Im the type of person who really wants and maybe NEED to make people happy. I cant stand loneliness..sadness..despair.. I hate that.
All I want in my life is to love, be loved and to be the reason of happiness to others. (this was actually said to me by my professor in mandarin who studied feng shui!!! He even told me that I wouldn’t care forgetting about myself just for the sake of others…well so true.)
I know I cant make ALL people happy… but that reason is not enough. I want everything to be perfect. All happy.
This is not a nice feeling to carry around. I tried to act normal especially with…but at night, it all comes back. I cant feel this way especially now that we’re bombarded with school shits. I feel so tired but I cant even rest well at night.
So anyway…while I read bella’s lines or thought, it occurred to me that maybe I can be like her. Be reckless. I gotta try this..this might work..damn. I should not care so much about the future..just enjoy life right now…while im still alive (drama!)
But seriously, I gotta be positive now. I don’t want to cheat my life, my thoughts and lie to myself.
This time, I’ll go with the flow. Nothing’s perfect.
People are not usually ready for nightmares…but they enjoy their dreams.

Sweet dreams…
Welcome to dream land.

"epiphany"

"let go of the past and move on..."

well..i've encountered another conversation with him regarding the past..and...i've learned something...by the way he talked about it..it made me realize that...i have to be numb..i have to think positive and let go of whatever feeling i had of his past... and to think of it..he's got A LOT going on with his past... girls..fights...friends..and more...

before, i used to be so uber jealous of his past..all his stories of his past courtships..and whatsoever...

but now...i can say... that i moved on :)

im just so proud of myself that im beginning to feel this way..and just enjoy my time with him...

im not afraid anymore of my future with him..because i learned another new thing today from my professor Mrs. Antee :)

she told us about her lovelife..and well..she's still inlove with her 1st boyfriend even though she's got a husband already...but the important fact is that her husband knows about it and they(her first bf and her hubby) met several times already..but still Mrs. Antee kept her feelings and held on to her relationship with her husband...and the best part is...she told us her husband is soo boastful..but she still loves him because of what the bible said that the women should be submissive to their husband and in return..the husband should love their wife back..the same way God loves the church..he sacrificed himself to save us... :) *mushy*
well..the thing is.. i realize that i should be strong in our relationship..i have to believe that we'll be forever... :) LOVE ♥

but for those who doesn't have MR/MS love...well..time will come..and God will give you the best gift in the world :) you just have to be patient..and once you met him/her...be thankful and don't take them for granted :)

anyway.. lotsa learnings today.. i hope i inspired some of my readers today...


oh and btw..He knows about this blog na.. :)

ps. mariel..sorry..haha..nalaman niya eh...nakita niya while i was checkin it.. LOL..anyway...hope he likes it :)

...

...-M

such a mystery..

LOVE..to live your life fully...

Ian Wyndham: I Love you.
Samantha Andrews: Ooh I Love you too.
Ian Wyndham: I wanna tell you why I love you.
Samantha Andrews: It's... It's raining, you know that right.
Ian Wyndham: I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear... Today, because of you... what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learned that if you do that, then you're living your life fully... it doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. Samantha if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love.
Samantha Andrews: I don't know what to say.
Ian Wyndham: You don't have to say anything... I just wanted to tell you.

i watched "if only" again..and as always..i cried.. i really love this movie...if only....haayy...