Monday, March 24, 2008

calm.. all out..

Finally…

Everything’s all cleared out…

Last night, I was wailing about the issue… I feel like my chest is going to burst out... So I had to chat with a friend about it… I’m just ever so glad that she was ready to listen to me. Then I also talked to her boyfriend who’s actually my cousin… I just had t release all the fire inside me… so I can breathe again…

Anyway we talked about many things…since he was his former best friend. Reminiscing about the old times and actually figuring out what to do about the issue. Well he got me calmed and actually got me laughing about it… to think that I really got myself into M… he told me that I was so hooked up with M… well that’s true.. I just really love him so much… and yeah
I just love him TOO MUCH…


He’s so lucky because he’s got a girl like me loving him like
that…


Anyway… I woke up today realizing that I was so stupid for even thinking about the issue…or even making that issue… I laughed at myself for even crying so hard about it BUT I COULDN’T BLAME MYSELF...why?... because he’s my first (and hopefully last) and I never experienced cheating before… so this is just my INITIAL REACTION… I think that would be for other girls too...but I’m not sure… we all have different perceptions and ways about different things in life.


I actually think I’m maturing nowadays… I’m able to handle things I
couldn’t handle before…
and I’m glad to feel that way…


Anyway… we saw each other today and suddenly I opened up the issue to him. I just want to clear things out so I can continue loving him the way I really want to… and he explained things… well not just that but he showed me how sincere he really is to me. How true and how faithful…well that’s what I think he’s trying to show me. He actually erased the numbers and other stuffs that I don’t want to see…and he told me stuffs... Secrets he kept to me…and I feel really special because he was all honest to me… it was our “all out” session… I told him my secrets and vice versa…


It was relieving knowing that he really loves me and is really serious about
our relationship…


Well I’m getting cheesy… I’m just so glad the issues over…


I’m going to start to be that “almost perfect girl” you want me to be…
Let’s start over…

I love you honey… :D

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