Tuesday, September 30, 2008

enough is enough and im not enough...

music defines me. i was in starbucks at 6am..thoughts fill my mind while i was listening to my ipod....

Goodnight goodnight by Maroon 5.
Over you by Daughtry

I never saw this coming, not that I’m a psychic or something but I never thought I would feel this way again. Numb. Feeling nothing but emptiness. Maybe this time I really feel like it’s enough. I’ve had enough of all the bullshits and dramas.

“I’ve given my heart and if that’s not enough for you, them I’m not enough for
you”- Haley James Scott

If he can’t be by Frankie J

Damn. Why is loving so hard? Or is it just the persons involve making it hard? Maybe some were made not to understand love. But somehow, there’s still some people giving me hope that love still exist. Not in a way that I’m in a trapped kinda love but love in a way that it really makes me happy. Thank you for that, my safe harbor.

I think I’m having dejavu from my experience before which I really tried to ignore. I’m caught in between again, like I have to make a choice. But I don’t want to. I never want to. Why is it that choices are made to be so difficult?

My first love by Passion

Yes. He is my first love. But I don’t know if he’ll be my last. I was hoping before, but now I don’t know. I know that all the first love has the greatest impact in life, well, that’s what I realize from my friends. I don’t know for others. I don’t know for myself. It’s so natural to say that you gave your all for this so called love. Everyone says that. Well I did. But I don’t think it was enough for him. Maybe someday he’ll realize that… but I just hope it’s not late.

For you I will by Teddy Geiger

Maybe its just me. Maybe I expected too much. I know for sure that expecting is one way of hurting yourself. Yes. I was expecting too much. I was hoping he would be my prince charming, does he really exist anyway?. I was so fooled to believe that someday my prince will come. Damn snow white. That’s why I hate love songs. Like the guys would really do what they’re singing. Uhhh sorry bitter.

I shiver just thinking of my future. I don’t want to think of it. I’m not strong enough. It’s so hard to think that everything’s going to be alright. That I would be saved from this nightmare. That I will really feel happy. That things will go my way.

I’ve had enough. Just thinking of these stuffs overwhelms me. Enough.

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